The Nadir

BOX SCORE
Element	Current	Std. Range	Trend
Hemoglobin	11.1	13-17	v
Platelets	46	140-375	^
ANC	1680	1800-8300	v

Have you ever had the oxymoronic situation where you were glad to see something negative happen in your life? Say, what? During each chemo cycle, my blood counts take some wild swings. Mostly it doesn't bother me too much, but there are a couple of situations that I don't like to see. When my platelets get too low, for example, there are a couple of worries. If they are WAY low, like around 10-20, I may need a transfusion. Transfusions are not painful or particularly invasive, but they require a fair amount of time in the infusion room, say, an hour or so. I always feel better afterward, but one of the peculiarities of blood platelets is that they have a life span of about 72 hours. So, a transfusion does not necessarily "fix" the problem immediately. That means another transfusion could be necessary a few days later. In addition, low platelets cause me to be a bit ataxic, or unsteady on my feet.

If my ANC gets too low, I have to take more medications to protect me from infection. Medications have side effects, and the specific medications I take in these circumstances tend to encourage muscle, joint and tendon pain. Of course, of even more concern is that low ANC, if it's too low, means quarantine for me, until it rises again. Fortunately, I have not had to quarantine since May! 

So, back to my original question, why would a negative be a positive? I've been at this game long enough to see patterns in my blood counts. About two weeks after the beginning of my chemotherapy rounds, my blood counts tend to hit bottom, or as it is called in medical parlance, "the Nadir." So, on a day like today, when my blood counts have dropped significantly, and it's about two weeks since my last round of chemo, I get excited, because it means I am at or near the Nadir, and that means the counts will begin to rise again soon. Today's box score shows that my platelet count has risen slightly from Monday's. It's not a guarantee, but that usually means I am very close to the Nadir. So, hallelujah for low blood counts. The only way is up!! (I hope)

Hope is a marvelous thing. It can keep us going in times of stress. I'm not talking about hope like, "I hope the mailman leaves me a big lottery check today." That's hoping against hope. I never play the lottery, because I figure my odds of winning are very nearly the same, whether I play or not. It saves me time and money not to have to purchase the tickets. 

The hope I'm talking about is the kind that is based on reliable evidence. After two years of dealing with leukemia I know the patterns of evidence of what will happen after each chemo cycle are fairly consistent and reliable. So, I have a reasonable hope that the same thing will happen this time around. 

The author of the Letter to the Hebrews in the Bible begins chapter eleven this way: 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. ² For by it the people of old received their commendation. ³ By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible." 

In other words, faith is not blind. In the kingdom of God we can be assured that our hope of spending eternity with God is not in vain. He has promised us that, if we confess that Jesus of Nazareth is our Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead, we will be assured of eternity in paradise. (Romans 10:9-10) That is our hope, and we can have faith in that hope, even though we have not yet seen paradise, because the One Who made that promise, Jehovah God is absolutely reliable. Jesus, the Son of God, co-equal to God the Father said, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life." (John 14:6) I believe that because I have seen Him in action. His word is always reliable and has never let me down. He is the Way to paradise; He is the embodiment of Truth; and He gives Life, abundant Life. (see John 3:10)

Now, God made me in His image: 

For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.

And His design for the human body is incredible. Wouldn't it be wonderful if people who rely on machinery to do their work had machines that, provided a little fuel each day, would continue running for 60 or 70 or 100 years; that would repair themselves when something broke; that with the help of another complementary machine could make new machines and program them to function in concert with other machines to create, build and maintain things that range in size from that of a microscopic computer chip to that of a skyscraper? 

I have faith in my God-given body that it will perform as I hope it will, because it was designed by the Creator of all things and has proven time and again that it will keep chugging even in the face of disease and harsh medical treatments, like chemotherapy. So, my platelets may be low today, but they are not as low as they were on Monday...just like the last time around this cycle. When the Nadir comes, better days are ahead. Hooray for the Nadir.