Illegitimus non carborundum

BOX SCORE
Element	Current	Std. Range	Trend
Hemoglobin	10.6	13-17	v
Platelets	112	140-375	^
ANC	100	1800-8300	^

There's an old "faux Latin" adage: "Illegitimus non carborundum." It is intended to mean "don't let the bastards grind you down." You may be able to think of lots of applications of this sentiment in your own world. For me, right now, it is best applied to the chemotherapy injections. 

The injections in and of themselves are not particularly painful, and the nursing staff at the infusion center are all genial, professional and caring. On the other hand, I can tell that the chemotherapy is changing my body in a number of ways. It is not surprising, I guess, given that the nurses (some of them, anyway) wear what I call a Hazmat suit while they are treating me. It consists of mask, gloves and a fluid resistant, disposable smock. Why do they wear the smock? Because the chemotherapeutic agents are quite toxic. After all, their purpose is to poison the cancer cells that cause my leukemia. 

I notice a fair amount of muscle wasting. In particular, my upper body is quite flabby, and I have mild pain in my shoulders. I can't actually tell if the pain is in the muscles or the joints. I know I am being revisited by the rotator cuff injury that I sustained back in my forties. And although my weight hasn't changed much, my belly is bigger than it was. Mind you, I am not complaining about these changes, because they are minor, compared with the things many cancer patients endure. But it is sobering to see these changes happen over a relatively short period. 

In the face of it all, I continue to feel quite well most of the time, and for that I praise God. What is harder and harder to endure is being unable to get together with the friends and family we love so much. As you can see in the Box Score above, my counts all remain low. It is the ANC that is the trouble maker, because when it is low, we are warned to avoid exposure to any kind of contagious illness, including especially respiratory ailments; colds, flu, Covid, and such. A review of the history of my ANC over the course of 6 months of chemotherapy reveals that my body doesn't bounce back as well now as it did earlier. 

There is good news, though. We had a call from Penny, one of Dr. Brow's case manager nurses, this week. She told us that Dr. Brow has suggested that I cut back to having blood drawn for lab work only once a week, instead of twice. Not only does that mean fewer needle pokes, but it also leaves open week long stretches of time during which, if my ANC is up, we can go about our Live Like You're Healed campaign. We long to go to the beach and spend a few days. That is much easier when we aren't constrained by the need to be back in a couple of days to visit the phlebotomist. 

And Penny gave us some more good news. As I have mentioned previously, a new Bone Marrow Biopsy is ordered for next week. Penny told us Dr. Brow is thinking that, if the results are good, she may be able to reduce the amount of chemotherapy I will be subjected to. In the past she has told us that might look like, say, five days of injections a month, instead of seven, or it could be that my chemo cycles are stretched out to last five or six weeks, instead of four weeks. The idea is to give my body more time to recover from those toxic injections, thus raising my ANC more frequently to levels that make it safer to Live Like You're Healed. In any case, we are thrilled at the prospect of being able to be more social. 

No matter what happens, we continue to praise God for the availability of medical care that has prolonged my life so far by a year and a half, and for the fact that the physical effects have been relatively minor. We have been told that patients can survive for many years on the regimen I am on. I think we are in the stage of working out the details of how much treatment is enough to keep the cancer in check, with the fewest negative effects on my quality of life.  

In the meantime, we continue to pray for our friends and family, as well as for a supernatural cure. If there is a purpose in what we are living through, and I am convinced there is, it seems to be to make our faith stronger and our appreciation of our blessings deeper and richer. I wouldn't wish our circumstances on anyone, but even in adversity the Lord has poured out countless blessings. 

Do not be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights to give you the kingdom. (Luke 12:32)

We have entered the kingdom gates and look forward to whatever the King has for us, because

...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Carborundum, Schmarborundum!