The Spirit of 76

One year ago today, I was ensconced in Kaiser Permanente Sunnyside Hospital. I had received my induction phase chemotherapy with Cytarabine, and I was in the recovery phase, during which the oncology team closely monitored  my blood work as well as my metabolic labs. I was probably at my nadir in terms of energy and immunity; I don't recall for certain. Today, I am at home and just about to finish round one of outpatient chemotherapy with Azacitidine. Why do I make this comparison today? It's my birthday. My birthday present is that, after today, I will have three weeks with no injections into my belly of what is essentially poison. 

The effects of the medications (I am also on an oral chemotherapeutic agent called Venetoclax. Who comes up with these names?*) so far has been pretty negligible, although my belly is red and a bit bruised where I have received three injections daily of the Azacitidine. Jill and I continue to walk our two mile route around the neighborhood daily, and so far, I have been able to keep up a pretty good pace. The one problem I am having is that my platelets continue to be very low. I had another platelet transfusion yesterday. 

I am not certain whether to expect a crash of all my blood counts, as I did with the Cytarabine, but if it happens, Jill and I know how to deal with it. So, all things considered, I am not suffering, and I am happy to celebrate 76 years on this side of the sod. 

You are no doubt waiting with baited breath to read what plans I have to celebrate this milestone. Other than spending the day with my beautiful, dedicated, patient, adoring wife, not much. We plan to walk along Rickreall Creek, as an alternative to our usual walk around the neighborhood. I will grill some skirt steak for dinner, and Jill has planned to make one of my favorite desserts. I'm not a cake guy, so she is making a creamy banana dessert.

We met daughter Tara for breakfast on Saturday morning and had a visit from son Patrick and his family that same afternoon. Patrick texted and said, "We are in town. Could we stop by?" They brought Mexican food, too, so the day was like an early birthday party. We had a great time catching up on all of their adventures. 

So, God continues to bless me day by day, and my condition forces me to slow down and realize exactly how precious each of those blessings is. Yesterday, He gave me a new insight into my emotions. I was reading the first chapter of the book of James:

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; ²⁰ for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God..."      

The thought that formed in my mind is this: God gave us emotions for a reason, but the reason may not be the one we think it is. Suppose you become angry. What to do about that? Our flesh tells us to strike out, but that is a reaction that comes out of fear. What if God's reason for allowing us to feel anger is so that we can pause and think through why we are angry? Perhaps, when we get a handle on WHY we are angry, we can come up with a constructive way to channel the energy of our anger into a constructive response to whatever angered us.

Or, suppose we feel moved to laughter. This one is a little tougher. Laughter usually is so spontaneous that we don't have time to think about it, and let's face it, we all like a good laugh. But it's also important to understand what we are laughing at. Are we overcome with amusement that is universal? Jerry Seinfeld and George Carlin are a couple of comics who could find something in a situation that everyone can relate to. On the other hand, sometimes we are inclined to laugh at the misfortune of or a mistake made by someone else, and that is NOT a gracious response.

 

So, as I see it (and I believe God was impressing on me that) my emotions are like punctuation marks in life. They are meant to make the meaning clearer to me. Have you ever read a long sentence that has no punctuation? It's hard to follow what the writer is trying to communicate. In the same way, reacting to our emotions without taking a moment to consider what they mean may cause us to communicate something we will later regret.

So, God daily is growing me in understanding and wisdom. I call that a pretty fine birthday present! 

 

*Picture a committee meeting in the conference room of a big drug company: 

CEO: "Gentlemen, we have produced a new drug that will provide great help to people suffering from leukemia, what shall we call it?"

Chief researcher: "How about Leukemia Drug?"

CFO: "That sounds appropriate." 

Vice President for marketing. "No, no, no. No class. Nobody will want to buy a drug called 'Leukemia Drug.' It needs to be something weird and unpronounceable. How about 'Venetoclax?' Who wouldn't want to buy a drug called Venetoclax? I mean even if you just had warts, Venetoclax sounds much more, um, I don't know, MEDICAL. You would want to buy Venetoclax."

ALL: Veno..., vento..., what is it again? 

Vice President for marketing: Venetoclax, you morons!

ALL: Yes, let's name it what he said! Venteo...whatever. 

CEO: Meeting adjourned.