Going forward in faith

Nadir week seems to be over. I had six transfusions, but it was all well coordinated by Sara in the oncology office. So, I didn't have to go to the ER; I didn't have to agonize over finding an appointment at the infusion center. I have been feeling pretty good since Thursday, when I had my final transfusions followed by a blood draw for stat labs. The results showed my platelets and hemoglobin not up to normal, but in much better ranges for keeping me out of the ER. 

Jill and I have had a couple of spirited walks since then, and we should be able to get another one in today, although it is pretty chilly outside. I have another blood draw tomorrow, which I expect will show my hemoglobin and platelets up a bit and my absolute neutrophil count (ANC) beginning to climb. ANC was at zero on Thursday afternoon. That's when my immunity is at it's worst, so I look forward to seeing that number rising. 

I mentioned in my last post the blood blisters on my face and scalp. They have been clearing up since my final transfusions on Thursday. This is a sign that my platelet count is holding its own. So, I believe I'll be back in the pink soon. 

 In the past rounds of consolidation chemotherapy, about the time my blood counts got into comfortable zones, I went back to the Club for more chemo. This time I am not expecting to receive chemotherapy, so I look forward to my counts continuing up to near normal levels. 

That being said, we have a consultation at OHSU Oncology Research Center on December 6th to further discuss bone marrow transplantation (BMT). In the meantime, I have been collecting information about the procedure and its implications - physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

A dear friend connected me with his pastor, Mike, who is an AML survivor and transplant recipient. The oncology unit connected me with another transplant recipient, Jack, who has subsequently become a Certified Peer Counselor for BMT through an organization called Be The Match. I have consulted with our pastor Ben as well as another close friend who is a retired pastor and several men I know and trust regarding the spiritual ramifications of BMT. 

I have learned a lot. One of the things that came up when I was talking with Jack, and something I had not considered before, is the fact that BMT removes my own bone marrow with my DNA and replaces it with bone marrow and DNA of the donor. Essentially, this would mean that, while the rest of my tissues would have my own DNA, my bone marrow and the blood cells that it creates would have the DNA of the donor. My first reaction to that realization was, "That's kind of creepy." 

One of the implications of this dual DNA situation is that certain bodily fluids would then have the DNA profile of two individuals.  Imagine the implications for the justice system, if a perpetrator leaves behind DNA evidence of not just himself, but also of another person (a donor). I don't plan to perpetrate any crimes, but it is interesting to consider some of these ramifications. 

The current issue of Reader's Digest has a cartoon showing the Frankenstein monster at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is saying to him, "Some parts of you get into heaven and some parts don't. How do you want to handle this?" Something to ponder! Isn't it interesting how God pointed out to me, through Jack, the dual DNA situation and then gave me a laugh about Frankenstein? It was only later that I realized the connection. 

Summing up, Pastor Mike gave me a personal testimony of his experience with BMT; Jack gave me some more in depth information about the physical and emotional ramifications; and my trusted friends are helping me to think through the spiritual implications of BMT. This is not the same, I am finding, as deciding whether or not to take a certain medication my doctor recommends. This is the big time. Whatever decision I eventually make will be irreversible. It is daunting to think about it, let alone make such a decision. 

I am grateful that I have the resources I mentioned above to call on to help. And I am even more grateful that I have the Great Physician Himself and the Holy Spirit to guide me. I frankly don't even know how to pray my way through this. I must rely on Romans 8:6, to wit:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Dear Lord, please know my heart and listen with me to Your Spirit. Lead me in faith to the decision that will glorify You. You are Jehovah Rapha, the God Who heals. I appeal to You for guidance in making these choices. It is in the name of Jehovah Jeshua that I pray. Amen.