Time and revelation

Time is a precious thing. When we run low on time or waste it, we can't go out and get a job to earn more time, as we can when money runs low. (Yes, I know, sometimes getting a job is not as easy as saying, "I think I'll get a job," and poof, you have a job, but that's not my point here.) Time is like water you scoop up with your hand. It runs through between your fingers and before you know it, it's gone. 

This past several days has been a little like that for me. The days go by, and although I want to be doing something "productive," I find that before I know it it is evening. I am tired and I want to sleep. 

If you read my previous couple of posts, you know that I have had some symptoms that were confusing to me. As a result, I learned that it is not only my level of hemoglobin that determines how I am feeling and functioning, but other parts of my miraculous blood.

Yesterday, I got an infusion of platelets. My platelet level had been plummeting for several days. By yesterday, I was feeling very fatigued, light-headed and what I call "droopy." My infusion was scheduled for 3:30 PM, and as the day progressed, I also found that I had a trio of hematomas in my mouth, some petechiae on my legs and a minor nose bleed. To be honest, I was getting a little scared. I had never had all those symptoms at once before. 

After the infusion, I felt like a new man. My head was clear. My shortness of breath was diminished, and amazingly enough, by the time we got home, two of the three hematomas had pretty much resolved. 

[Spoiler Alert: this next piece is kind of gross. Viewer discretion is advised.] 

Later, a blood clot came out of my nose, but no bleeding ensued. I was grateful there was not a gush of red. I am unaccustomed to nose bleeds. The time getting the infusion was well spent. 

In other news, Jill and I have been attending our Dallas Church online, since we are in quarantine until the chemotherapy is complete. Part of the service every week is The Lord's Supper, also known as Communion, which we treasure. It is not quite the same taking Communion at home as it is taking it together with our church family in person. For one thing, we are on our own to provide the elements (bread and wine). The past couple of times we have taken Communion at home, we have used saltines for bread and wine for wine. 

We do not currently have the traditional red wine at home, so we have used white wine. As I was thinking about the meaning of the Communion sacrament and what Jesus told us about the elements, I wondered whether using white wine was somehow not appropriate, or worse, offensive to God. 

I tried to remember Jesus' words as recorded by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:23-26: "the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, ²⁴ and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is broken for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And "In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.'" This scenario took place during the Passover meal, so the cup refers to wine. I know enough about the Passover meal (Seder) to be aware that red wine is consumed at several junctures during the ceremonial meal. 

The point of the Communion sacrament is that Jesus and his twelve closest friends were celebrating the Passover feast, in remembrance of God's miraculous deliverance of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. During this most sacred of Jewish celebrations, Jesus tells these friends, "This is the new covenant in my blood. Do this as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." Now this is a big statement. Jesus is essentially saying that God's previous covenant with the Israelites, which had been in place for hundreds of years, was being replaced with a "new covenant," and it had something to do with Jesus' own blood. 

I think the symbolism of red wine representing blood is pretty transparent. Jesus told these men that every time they drink red wine, they are to remember the blood He spilled to clear a path for sinners to have direct access to their Creator. I'm not sure the disciples understood what Jesus was talking about, because they didn't know, or didn't believe that he was going to be murdered the next day. 

Yada, yada, yada, Tom. Get to the point. Okay, here is the point. While I was thinking about all of this, a couple of things occurred to me. First, Communion is not about bread and wine; it is about Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross of Calvary. The bread and wine are reminders to us of that sacrifice. Hence, I believe that white wine can be as good a reminder as red; and we can be every bit as grateful whether we partake of red or white wine or even unfermented juice, as most evangelical churches serve. 

Second, and this hit me hard, blood has a red component, the red blood cells that carry life sustaining oxygen to our tissues. But it also has a white component, which includes plasma, white blood cells, whose job is to protect us from infections, and platelets, whose job as I have detailed in another post (see: Did You Ever Have a Nosebleed?), is to help us recover from injuries that might otherwise cause us to lose our own blood. 

As I thought further about this whole business, I realized that, for me at least, white wine is as good (or perhaps better than) red wine to help me remember Christ's goodness and sacrifice on my behalf. It is the white portion of my blood that has gone haywire with my leukemia. But as the chemotherapy that I am receiving kills off the cancerous cells, it also wipes out the good white portions of my blood. On the other hand, Christ in His goodness, created the human body to be resilient. As the cancerous cells are being eliminated, the white cells just keep on coming back, thanks to the miraculous body God gave me. 

Jesus provided for the salvation of my eternal soul by dying in my place on a Roman cross. But before that, He provided for the salvation of my temporal life by giving me a body which can heal itself, given the chance. 

Part of being given that chance is the medical science that God has revealed to mankind, which in my case, manifests itself in chemotherapy and wise counsel from the medical team. Part of that wise counsel is to avoid doing things that might expose me to sources of infection during those significant stretches of time when my white cells are down (remember, they are a huge part of my immune system). 

Jill and I miss being able to mingle with our friends and family members a great deal, and we look forward to the day when we can resume doing so. We are all aware of the continuing threat of the pandemic, which is especially dangerous for elderly people with "underlying medical issues." I, alas, qualify on both counts. In addition, there are myriad other things that can attack me. I am on antibiotics to fight bacteria, anti-fungals to fight, well, fungal infections and anti-virals to mitigate viral attacks. In this vulnerable state, we have chosen to self-quarantine. That means, as much as we would like to sit on the patio or the driveway with y'all, we consider it too great a risk to take, when we expect to be through the treatment phase by the end of the year. Then we can come out and play! We hope everyone understands this is a life and death matter for me and includes no judgment about the health or worthiness of our friends. 

The pandemic has taught us all new ways of coping with isolation. Among them we have enjoyed FaceTime (ios based), Zoom, text messaging and (gasp) telephone calls. (It is actually still possible to just call somebody up. Who knew?)