Hearts and healing: part 2

 If you read my last post, you will know that I was musing about the things I have learned about God and myself as I have walked with Him over the past couple of decades. 

I ended by declaring that the message of the Bible from which we can find some direction in life is essentially this: Love God, and love your neighbor. I would like today to address my experience with these commandments. 

Loving God actually encompasses the second part of the directive. If you have children, you know full well that if someone mistreats your children, it's unlikely that you will feel that person bears any love for you. As the lyrics of a song recorded by two blues musicians named Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee say, "To love all of God is to love humanity." In fact, the Bible tells us that, when we surrender our will to God, He takes up residence in our very being, and we become His temple, His dwelling place. How can we love God and not love the people in whom He resides?

But what exactly does it mean to love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind? (In the Gospels of Mark and Luke "with all your strength" is added to the passage in Matthew.) Here's my take: 

"Love God with all your heart" refers not to the pump in your chest, but rather to the seat of your emotions and will. In Jewish culture it was kind of thought of as the essence of your being. So, to love God with all your heart is to love Him with emotion. He created you with emotions, some sweet and some bitter, He meant for you to have them. He also meant to be there right by your side when they come. Be they bitter or sweet, emotions are meant to be shared, and who better to share them with than the Creator who loves you better than anyone. 

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, Jesus referred to the heart when talking about our behavior, too. If we are loving God with our whole heart, it will reflect in our actions. Remember the verses about murder and adultery? God sees into our hearts and knows our will, and even if we control our actions, it is not healthy for our hearts to be wishing we didn't have to, i.e., wishing to do what is not right. 

What about our souls? How do we "love God with all our soul?" The soul is often seen as synonymous with the spirit. We know when a person is alive, because he is able to interact with his environment. And we know when a person is dead, because something has departed from the physical part of him, leaving it lifeless. What has left is his soul. Jesus told the woman in Sychar of Samaria, "God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (John 4:24, emphasis added)

It truly is our spirit that connects with our Creator. When we praise Him and sing songs to Him and pray to Him, we are connecting with him spiritually, i.e. with our souls. We mustn't be distracted by the cares of the day when we worship Him. Loving Him with all our soul is a melding of our spirits. It is where the power of His love intersects with our own shortcomings and in the words of the Prophet Isaiah, "they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Next Jesus said, "love God with all your mind." God is infinite. His ways are higher than our ways. We cannot fully understand Him. If we could, we would be God and not He. Theology, literally the study of God, used to be known as the queen of the sciences. In fact, the sciences we think of pretty much developed as offshoots of theology as men began to see the beauty and the intricacies of God's creation. For it is His creation through which He has first revealed Himself. 

Loving God with all of one's mind, I believe, entails learning to know Him not as the God that someone told us about or even just the God revealed in the Bible. No, it also entails learning to know Him as a being. That is the part that is most thrilling for me. Knowing what I know about Him allows me to trust Him, but I'll be doggoned if He doesn't always have something new to teach me about His goodness and mercy and grace and, yes, His power to do the impossible. After all, He is the living God, and living things don't always do the same thing. So, though God is the same yesterday today and forever, He is not above pulling a new rabbit out of His hat now and then. Loving him with all my mind allows me to experience and learn from Him day by day. 

Now loving God with all my strength is where I am learning the most, recently. My strength has been lacking for quite some time as my illness has developed. But the more it failed, the more I knew I had to lean on Him for strength. You see He doesn't expect us to be strong. The Apostle Paul wrote: Three times I pleaded with the Lord about [an affliction], that it should leave me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

I was raised in the generation when boys were admonished with "don't be a sissy," or "boys don't cry," or "you're OK, walk it off." We learned to be "tough" and "independent." It was a sign of weakness to ask for help or to admit one's pain. Consequently, I daresay the majority of us go around thinking, "If anyone knew who I really am, they would not accept me." So we stuff our emotions. We do many really dumb things that are prefaced with, "Hold my beer." That is not strength. 

What I am learning is that it is OK to hurt, to be afraid, to be weak. What matters to God is that whatever strength we have, we give Him free reign with it, and He will multiply it. When I got the news about my wacky blood counts, my first thought was "Leukemia." I was terrified, but I kept it to myself, not wanting to upset Jill. Now here I am three weeks later, and God has given me mental strength and emotional strength I never knew I had. My physical strength is diminished, but I believe that is temporary. But even if it is not. I will love God with all the strength I have. 

As for loving my neighbor as myself, if you have read previous posts, you know that my literal neighbors at home have been loving me with help and support and prayers. I am learning that each one of them, warts, pimples and all, is a hero in his/her own right.  That's not because I am so special. It's because they are made in the image of God. I will never see them through the same eyes again. I can't wait to be there for them when they need help or even just time to chat about nothing in particular. My world is slowing down. What used to be important now pales compared to the need to spend time loving my neighbors in whatever way they may need in the moment. 

In addition, I have connected with so many of the staff here at the Club. Many have poured out their hearts to me about their own lives and travails. And it's all because I have the time and take the time to listen, just as I would want them to listen to me. So far, that's what I have learned through this ordeal about loving my neighbors. I hope to learn a lot more.