The Twelve Days of Christmas, revisited
BOX SCORE |
|
|
|
Element |
Current |
Std. Range |
Trend |
Hemoglobin |
10 |
13-17 |
v |
Platelets |
27 |
140-375 |
^ |
ANC |
1340 |
1800-8300 |
^ |
Today, we checked into room 455 at Sunnyside Medical Center for the next step in my journey with AML. This is the same room in the oncology department where I began the trek. It is like old home week. So many of the same staff members that I knew here two years ago are still on duty, and they have stopped by to say, "Hello." Jill and I wore our "Club Sunnyside" tee shirts, which were a big hit with the staff, back in the day.
I recently posted that I will be in the hospital for something like a month. This visit will, of course, encompass Christmas and New Year's Day. One of my buddies suggested I need to "update" the old Christmas song "The Twelve Days of Christmas." So, I offer herewith,
The Twelve Days of Leukemic Christmas (LC)
On the first day of LC, the doctor gave to me
A PICC line for everyone to see.
On the second day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the third day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the fourth day of LC, the doctor sent to me
Four learned HemOncs, [Hematologist/Oncologist]
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the fifth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
...Five beeping pumps! *...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the sixth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the seventh day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the eighth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Eight nurse assistants,
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the ninth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Nine pills of Zofran,
Eight nurse assistants,
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the tenth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Ten minutes sleeping,
Nine pills of Zofran,
Eight nurse assistants,
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the eleventh day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Eleven kinds of tablets,
Ten minutes sleeping,
Nine pills of Zofran,
Eight nurse assistants,
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
On the twelfth day of LC, the doctor gave to me
Twelve notes at discharge,
Eleven kinds of tablets,
Ten minutes sleeping,
Nine pills of Zofran,
Eight nurse assistants,
Seven midnight blood draws,
Six sets of vitals,
...Five beeping pumps!...
Four learned HemOncs,
Three lovely nurses,
Two bags of chemo,
And a PICC line for everyone to see.
Now, as soon as you have memorized this new improved version of the old classic, you may hang up your stocking and get a good night's sleep.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
* Whatever IV infusions or transfusions I get are delivered by a pump. It has the most annoying beep, beep, beep alarm whenever something goes wrong (like a bubble in the line) or when the IV solution is depleted.
You are so inventive Tom. Your chemo blast has not altered your sense of humor. Donalynn
ReplyDelete