Miracles and Pathways

It appears that the time is slipping away...again.  I am finding that, as my life and the world's life move closer to "normal," I am remiss in updating this blog. When you have a brush with death, as I have had, your focus changes. For so many months I was unable to do things I wanted to do and things I had planned to do, that now I want to do them all at once. 

My vigor is returning, and as it does, I am able to take on projects requiring physical strength and abilities learned over a lifetime. I have built some furniture for my home brew pub. I have repaired a number of the clocks in my collection. (I find it amusing that the one clock I can't seem to get going is an inexpensive battery powered wall clock!) We are beginning to plant in our front bed, which we had cleared of a bunch of overgrown shrubs last summer. I am brewing again. 

You will note that most of these activities are things I can do at home, without venturing into the world much. We have begun to do most of our own grocery shopping again. We have begun to socialize with friends and family in small groups, while bearing in mind both my immunocompromised status and the fact that Covid19 is here to stay. 

Recently, I have had an unmistakable impression that God has things He wants me to do. It is as if He is saying, "Tom, I didn't carry you gently through five rounds of chemotherapy without a single serious side-effect so that you can focus on your own comforts and desires. I did it because '[you] are [My] workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which [I] prepared beforehand, that [you]should walk in them.' (Ephesians 2:10)" 

I am seeing that what God has allowed me to experience through my bout with AML is all part of a bigger view of the world than I am able to see on my own. First, He wanted to show me that He is in command of everything, even cancer. I don't believe He gave me cancer, but as in the story of Job, he allowed Satan to inflict me with it in order to teach me to have faith and trust in Him, no matter my circumstances. 

Job's wife, seeing her husband suffering physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually , "...said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' ¹⁰ But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?^' In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:9-10)

The Apostle James reminds us, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4) God wastes nothing. 

All of the evil I have done in my life brought me to my knees before the cross of Jesus Christ. God used my sin to bring me into His kingdom for a purpose. He used colon cancer to get my attention. He used my adopted son to point me to Him. He uses my wife to lovingly show me things about myself that I was blind to. And now He has used AML to focus my faith, in preparation "for good works, which He prepared for me beforehand that I should walk in them." 

I am not certain what those good works are just yet, but God wisely informs me on a need to know basis. You see, He understands that if He laid out the whole plan right up front, I would likely say something stupid like, "OK, God. I got this! Stand back and watch me go." I am wont to try and do things in my own power. If I am given a task, I usually figure out a way to get it done...usually with the "trial and ERROR" method. 

But God doesn't want the error part of the equation to foul things up, so He carries me along by saying, "Tom, listen up! See your right foot there? Lift it off the ground. CAREFUL! You need to put more weight on your left foot so you don't topple over! That's better. Now, put your right foot back down in front of you. See, you're moving in the direction I want you to go." Gradually I am learning that, in spite of my chomping at the bit, waiting for God's timing and direction ALWAYS yield better results. 

Yesterday, Palm Sunday, we attended worship service at Dallas Church for the first time since before my AML was diagnosed. In order to avoid the threat of "catching" something that my immune system was not ready for, we have been attending online, but it is not the same. It was good to worship among our friends; to be able to shake their hands (I'm not quite to the hugging stage yet, although Jill is) and to interact with them and learn where God is taking them. 

The current sermon series has been about Miracles, those things that happen in life that can't be explained as coming by natural means. Things like my body's amazing response to chemotherapy against all odds. David B. preached yesterday about God's healing miracles. It seemed a fitting topic for our first in person visit. I am living one of those miracles; but why? 

In the ninth chapter of the book of John, Jesus and his disciples encounter a man who was born blind"...[a]nd his disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' ³ Jesus answered, 'It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.'" (John 9:2-3) Jesus proceeded to spit on the ground and make a little mud. He placed it on the man's eyes and then sent him to the pool of Siloam to wash. When he returned, he could see. People had varying opinions on what had happened, but none of them could deny that what Jesus had done was beyond amazing. God was glorified and Jesus' authenticity as the Messiah was demonstrated. 

Whatever God has for me next, I pray that I will have the sense and the faith to follow His lead. As Jill and I gradually emerge from quarantine, we are keenly aware there are some dangers, but following in God's footsteps we have faith that He will lead us in a pathway that will result in good works that He prepared beforehand that we should walk in them! Glory to God through His Son, Jesus Christ!

It's good to be back in harness.