A new song

 Oh sing to the Lord a new song;
    sing to the Lord, all the earth!
² Sing to the Lord, bless his name;
    tell of his salvation from day to day.
³ Declare his glory among the nations,
    his marvelous works among all the peoples!
⁴ For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
    he is to be feared above all gods.
⁵ For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,
    but the Lord made the heavens.
⁶ Splendor and majesty are before him;
    strength and beauty are in his sanctuary. (Psalm 96:1-6)

Sometimes, I need something to get my motor going again, after I have idled in doubt or tiptoed into the garden of self pity. I think I've been doing a bit of that in the last few days. It's not a good place. But then, as He always does, the Lord will bring me up short by showing me something right under my nose that I had missed. 

My friend Jeanette commented on my last post. She wrote: "My thoughts recently have centered on walking by faith and what that looks like on an everyday basis. My theory is that when we are young in our faith, God allows us to 'see' more but as we grow in faith, He makes less visible and says, do you trust me now?" At first I didn't quite understand her point (or I was too pig-headed to accept it), but with time I realize that, through Jeanette, God is asking me, essentially, "I have brought you this far through this journey, do you really think I'm going to abandon you now?"

As I face the reality of making monumental decisions in the near future, I had forgotten to look at the recent past and see how God has carried me along without fail. One of the nurses, on the day I left Club Sunnyside, was telling Jill and me what she has observed over many years. She said, "Induction chemotherapy [what I went through in July] affects your body like being run over by a car. Consolidation chemotherapy [I just finished round four] is like being run over by a semi." 

I was fortunate to sail through those two phases of treatment with very few ill effects. I mean, the medical team has been rather astonished at how well it went. To what can I attribute that record? Certainly not my bravery or extraordinary strength. That was a gift from God. 

The nurse went on to say that bone marrow transplant is like being run over by a train. Well, that was sobering to hear! But it was important for me to hear, because now that I have clear evidence of God's goodness in carrying me this far through the journey in a miraculous way, I need to know and remember that I can trust Him going forward. Does that mean that making the decisions to come will be easy? No way. But it does mean that God will show me the path, and if I trust Him, He will glorify himself in the outcome. And that can only be to my benefit.

So, I'm singing to the Lord a new song this morning. It is a song of thanksgiving for what He has done for me. It is a song of gratitude for a friend whose words help me to see the path forward. It is a song of joy, for He is great and greatly to be praised. It is a song of hope, for He is with me and can be trusted. 

Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!
⁸ Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
    bring an offering, and come into his courts!
⁹ Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness;
    tremble before him, all the earth! (Psalm 96:7-9)

Yes, it is to Him that I can ascribe the glory and strength that have been required to bring me here. It is to Him I need to bring an offering. 

He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8) 

That is the offering He desires from me. Simply to trust Him. 

For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (Hosea 6:6)

May I seek the strength and beauty that are in His sanctuary and walk humbly with my God. For He is great and greatly to be praised.