Déjà vu all over again

Did you ever experience what the immortal Yogi Berra called "déjà vu all over again?" You know, when you experience something and you could swear you are reliving something you've already lived through. I love the movie "Groundhog Day," starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell. 

In case you haven't seen it, Bill Murray plays Phil Connors, a cynical, egotistical TV weatherman assigned to cover the emergence of Punxsutawney Phil, the "official" Pennsylvania groundhog that shows his face every February second to predict whether spring will come early. On the day in question, Connors, annoyed by this demeaning assignment, awakens to a clock radio at 6AM and makes his way to the area where Punxsutawney Phil is snoozing in his lair. When Phil comes out and sees his shadow and then returns to his burrow, it would seem the story is over, spring will be delayed and Connors and his crew can head back to New York. 

But Connors is in for a surprise. On the way out of town, he is caught in a blizzard he failed to predict and is forced to stay in this dreary little town. When he awakens the next morning, it is to the same clock radio, playing the same song in the same B&B. Every detail of his day is a repeat of the day before. This goes on day after day, but along the way he discovers that he can change his activities, while everybody else does exactly the same thing they did the day before. 

Connors realizes he has an opportunity to do some remarkable things. He takes piano lessons and becomes a musical prodigy. He discovers that he can even die, and yet the next day he can start anew. Along the way, he falls for pretty, perky Andie McDowell, his producer. In an effort to woo her, he develops himself into a kind and generous soul, who helps old ladies in distress and becomes the darling of Punxsutawney, PA society. 

In the end, he gets the girl, and they apparently live happily ever after. It's kind of a silly story, but it is a story of redemption, and I'm a sucker for stories of redemption. 

This past week for me has seemed to involve a certain amount of déjà vu. Monday I had a blood draw, and my platelet count was dangerously low, so I got a platelet transfusion. In spite of that, on Tuesday I developed some bleeding issues. So Wednesday, I had a blood draw in the morning and a platelet transfusion in the afternoon. Then Thursday, I had a blood draw and my platelets were still low, so I had a platelet transfusion. This morning I will have another blood draw, and I am scheduled for a platelet transfusion tomorrow, which will also include a unit of packed red blood cells, because my hemoglobin level has been dropping, too.

I don't expect that at the end of the week I will be a piano prodigy (just FYI, I can find middle C on a keyboard), but I can tell you that I have been transformed over time. Like Connors, I spent a lot of my life as a cynical, self-centered fellow. And then something strange happened. 

When I was in the depths of despair, God got hold of me and showed me the error of my ways. In much the same kind of story as Connors', He caused me to understand that trying to prove I was somehow better than other people was an exercise in futility, primarily because it was so absolutely untrue. Instead, He offered me unconditional love and an exercise in humility. He provided His one and only Son to pay the penalty for my arrogant, cynical, self-centered lifestyle, which was destroying me. He even provided me with a loving, supportive wife, my own Andie McDowell so to speak, without whom my current journey would be infinitely more difficult and less meaningful. 

Something I have learned in my faith walk with God is that it is often helpful to read Scripture in a personalized manner. For example, the Bible verse that is, perhaps, the best known of all, John 3:16, reads as follows: 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." 

But it really hits home, when I read it this way: 

“For God so loved Tom, that he gave his only Son, that when Tom believes in him Tom should not perish but have eternal life."

And by the way, the verse that follows John 3:16 reads this way:

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

Or: 

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn Tom, but in order that Tom might be saved through him."   

And He has saved me from years of emotional and spiritual misery. You may ask, if God loves you so much, why leukemia? A fair question. If I could answer that question, I guess I would be God, and trust me, you would not want that!! But like Job in the old testament, I have learned through this trial that I can trust God absolutely to walk through it with me. What's the worst that could happen? If I don't survive leukemia, I will find myself in heaven in the presence of God for eternity. In the meantime, He has taught me humility, compassion, joy. He has given me peace, love, comfort, patience and above all gratitude. 

So, no matter what the weather looks like on February 2, 2022, I will praise the One who came for me in the midst of the storm. Thank You, Lord!!