Progress seems so slow

 Although it's been less than 72 hours since my world was turned upside down by learning that I have what is very likely Acute Myelocytic Leukemia, my feeling is let's get on with it already! Today, I had a visit from the hematologist, Dr. Mansoor, and Carie, a nurse practitioner, to update me. 

I will receive a bone marrow biopsy today, which will pin down the diagnosis to the exact species and subspecies of bone marrow disease I have. That will allow the actual treatment phase to begin. As a retired dentist who spent his last 14 years doing urgent dental care, I became a pretty adept diagnostician. I know that a good treatment outcome depends on a good diagnosis. And yet, when it is my body that is ravaged with disease, I want to get on to the treatment and getting well part of the process. I am generally a patient person, but as of now, I am struggling in that department. 

Here are some things that I have learned so far. I have slept extremely well the last two nights...deep dreamless sleep that was refreshing and encouraging. I feel a little sheepish about that, because I realize the reason I have slept so well, is that I have been engaged in dealing with my own little world of troubles and not those of international geo-political struggles or my friends' problems or the homeless problem or inflation... All of those things are important and need people to be thinking about them, but doing so keeps me awake way more than I realized. My world has collapsed to a 15 by 20 foot hospital room, where, although I am not really in control, I am kind of the king of the castle, and my problems come first. I know that sounds selfish, and that's why I feel sheepish about sleeping so well. 

So, my self-assigned task for today is to be patient and courageous and non-self-judgmental (is that a word?). Our pastor came to pray with us this morning and to let us know how many others are praying for me and my physical health and Jill and her emotional health as we march into this brave new world. If you are a praying person, please let me selfishly solicit your prayers. In particular, pray for Jill's comfort and peace in the face of a monster we cannot slay on our own. We need you and our church and our medical team, and of course God almighty!